LDRs are probably one of the most unnatural things that modern society has declared commonplace.
Not for one minute will I tell you that they are easy, or fun, or “make the heart grow fonder”. Nope, I’m not about that business.
Born an only child, I think of myself as quite independent. I’ve been there for myself more times than others, and I’m sure you can probably relate. The saying, “if you want something done right…” has infinite truths to it.
So, why then, am I creating such a hub bub about long distance relationships??
Aside from the fact that they are utterly awful; for someone like me, they are painful.
Just imagine, or maybe you can relate, you are an independent person with a personality that keeps you landing on your feet – regardless of the hardships you face. But suddenly, someone comes along and rocks this life boat that you’re on. He seems like a mirage or a siren. One of two things happen, you slowly fall in love with him (or her) like your feet sinking into wet sand or you totally fall into the ocean with him.
I fell. fast.
Love is one thing that is completely indeterminate, no matter how many poets, philosophers and artists try to define it.
I think there is one thing that you and I can agree on, however… you must develop a level of trust that is painstakingly personal. You give a little part of yourself to the other person to keep. You make it about more than yourself. You tie your souls together in sailor knots that are meant for the strongest sea winds.
And then something happens.
Suddenly, the life you thought you knew has discolored in a way. You find yourself having to make decisions, things you never thought you’d have to ask yourself.
“Do I love him enough?” “Is this worth the trouble?”
All of these ridiculous thoughts flood your mind, thoughts that your previous self would have scoffed at in disbelief.
So finally you come to terms, you make a deal to try.
Its unnatural. Its impersonal. Its one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Living without a piece of myself, a man I love, has been challenging, and purifying.
I have become the best version of myself.
Everyday I wake up, I don’t think about myself first. I think about him. If you want to find out what kind of person you really are, be in a long distance relationship. They are awful, cruel and unnatural. But they make you decide to be selfish or considerate of a whole other life form. A life form that wants to share their life, their love, and their suffering with you.
No, I don’t think “distance makes the heart grow fonder”.
I think a good love will grow no matter the weather.
I hope you don’t mind my ramblings, metaphors and poor attempts at imagery. This is just simply a stream of consciousness. Here are the ramblings I promised you.
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